Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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