If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
