is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
