once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Randomize
