Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
