I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I'm gonna fight the coyote
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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