puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
