And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
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