I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
