I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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