You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
you never un-have a 4some
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
