Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
