What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Randomize
