So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
