i think my tv is drunk
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Randomize
