Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize