I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I need to calm my uterus...
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
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