Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
