I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
