Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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