So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize