Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
