Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
