Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
