these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
