What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Randomize
