I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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