Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
