Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
whose parrot is this?
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Randomize
