If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize