I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
