I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
