me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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