C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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