I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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