Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
So here I am, sexting at work.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
