I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Brb crying the tears of my youth
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
