i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
