babies were throwing up all over the place
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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