forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
