Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Randomize
