Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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