there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
