We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
