you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
one might say we're banned from that church
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
