How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
