yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
