Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
