yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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