I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
