You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
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