with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I think i got beer on your cat.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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