Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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