I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
