omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
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