I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
