his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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