He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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