We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
