Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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